On sobriety in 2025

What an absolute shitshow of a year, so far – am I right, ladies? There’s just something about living in constant terror that’s really exhausting and defeating. While continuing to keep up with the news and relevant goings-on (UGH), it has become necessary to allow myself small pleasures. Staying steeped in darkness has not been to my benefit thus far, so one unintended positive to the political upheaval and crumbling of modern democracy that continues to come to pass is the re-inspiration to participate in activities I enjoy.

So, in respecting my own boundaries and needs, here are a few things I’ve been doing more regularly:

Baking treats (more recipes to come, probably!!)
Crochet projects! (more on this below)
Taking my medications (slay)
Listening to records and finding new tunes!
(Trying to) keep up with friends and family better
- Trying!!,
“Radical dick-sucking” etc…
Steering clear of social media

Generally, I feel pretty good about my hobbies. There are certainly areas for growth (read a book, bitch), but they are absolutely an improvement upon previous, less helpful coping strategies.

You’ll never guess what coping strategy I’m talking about.

So it’s like this – in very proud news, I reached two years without alcohol or self harm in February 🎉🎉 — mazel tov.

Whereas last year I heralded in my one year sobriety date with a tell all exposé about my journey on TikTok and instagram, I let this anniversary pass in very quiet and humble recognition. I recognize that social media was evil back then, as well, but I really just let myself ignore all that. I feel differently, now.

Rather than revisiting all that got me to leaving alcohol behind (depression, embarrassment, shame, bodily harm- for example), I’d rather share a few lessons learned and revelations had in year two of this dog and pony show.

Some people will not get it – you do not need to explain it to them.
It has been at least 750 days since my last hangover and/or alcohol induced vomit session.
- My teeth, esophagus, mental health, and general wellness are so thankful and proud of this.
Alcohol centered spaces are hard, but not impossible, to tolerate.
- We went to a 21+ show this last weekend and I can confirm that the smell of beer and/or liquor makes me queasy, but does not trigger the desire to drink. That hasn’t always been the case.
I’m nicer and less embarrassing sober.
- NOTE: I am still not “nice” or “not embarrassing”
There is no end to my time without alcohol.
- I wasn’t truly aware of how unwell I was before starting my journey into sobriety. With two years of perspective and clarity, I understand that alcohol would kill me if I let it. I refuse to give that power back.

And in those lessons and experiences, I find continued strength and support in my decisions. So that’s that.

In a moderately brighter turn (but only moderately), time saved from dealing with the consequences of alcoholism has lent itself well to crochet projects. I have completed a few afghans lately, but feel compelled to share one in particular.

I utilized this pattern from Marching North —adjusted to accommodate all of the colors I wanted. It’s like super gay, right? Right. It was crafted in response to recent legislation proposed by one Idaho representative to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, giving states the ability to revoke same sex marriage laws and protections. It really pissed me off and I just needed something gay to remind me that it’s ok to exist, even if it’s hard to live somewhere that doesn’t give a shit about me.

When feeling angrier, I crafted this knock-out piece of art:

And I stand by it – what an absolutely miserable excuse for a human person.

Despite every bad fucking thing happening, I send you off with hope —renewed by a trip to bluer places with the love of my life. Thanks for having us, Seattle.