the projection room above the auditorium

Yuh, yuh, I’ve done blogs a half a million times, so why do I think this will be any different? Well I will tell you! This time I’ll be deadly serious this time.

No really- I’ve abandoned social media but I still need an outlet and Pinterest only offers so much. So – the intent here is to create a space to share what I would have put on instagram or twitter or tumblr or whatever have you of year’s past. Also, I paid for a year on this platform. Thankfully, I’m creative AND deep, so I hope to have a lot to put here. More earnestly, this will likely be just another failed project— stay tuned.

What makes this extra fun for me is that I’m using my iPad and pencil so I feel like that bitch in read it and weep – the shitty DCOM we rewatched recently. You know, the Panabaker who made Emily Osment suicidal in that cyberbully movie about cyberbullying? I think it was called “the bus that couldn’t slow down.”

Except this time, sharing my thoughts on the internet is the point.

Anyway, I’m not quite sure what this will really be, but I enjoy music, baking, handcrafts, sharing my opinion, and so much more. So, with all that being said, we’ll start this bad boy off with a recent recipe success. Most of them are successes, but I digress.

We’ll call these “classic sugar cookies with buttercream” because I’m not original enough to come up with something better. I took these bad boys to work in hopes of distracting my coworkers from the fact that I did NOT prepare for my presentation. Truly, they were so unbelievably undeserving of such kindness.

Recipe for the cookie from Sugar Spun Run, frosting made up on the spot from 15 years of making buttercream.

Sugar cookie:

One cup butter (recipe says unsalted but I used salted shhhh) ROOM TEMPERATURE or APPROACHING ROOM TEMP – you’ll chill the dough anyway, but if it’s soft, it sure as hell beats a lot easier

One cup granulated sugar

However much vanilla your heart desires, I imagine almond would be tasty too! Recipe says 1.5 teaspoons- I say choose your destiny.

One large egg (room temp doesn’t hurt here, either).

Two and a half cups all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking POWDER

3/4 teaspoon salt

Beat the butter and sugar until combined. Throw in the egg and vanilla and continue beating until cream-ay.

Combine dry ingredients in separate bowl and incorporate slowly into your wets (wink) with your mixer (but don’t just throw them on top of the wet stuff and mix half-assedly with your teaspoon before incorporating w/ your mixer- I definitely don’t ever do that.)

Flatten a bit and shape into a little disk-like thing, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate. I did two batches and the first chilled for about an hour, the second overnight. I definitely recommend letting it sit out of the fridge for a few minutes before trying to roll and cut, especially if chilled overnight.

Flour your rolling surface and roll dough to desired thickness. Just like people, some like ‘em thicker than others, but all sizes can be tasty and beautiful. Shape them how you like (I used a rooster shaped measuring cup I accidentally stole from one of Shea’s old roommates to get nice, big, round, plump, juicy cookies) and bake at 350 for 10ish minutes. Check your cookies but they may need 3-5 more minutes depending on size and thickness. It’s hard to really guesstimate without seeing the exact size and girth of your medium.

Let those bitches cool completely before trying to frost or you’ll have a big old mess on your hands. Or maybe you like it messy, I’m not here to judge.

Frosting:

One cup butter, salted, room temp

Intuitive vanilla extract (see above)

Intuitive powdered sugar (4-5 cups)

A few tablespoons heavy whipping cream (or milk, or milk alternative, heavy whip is my preference) + additional per preference

Beat butter and vanilla until cream-ay then slowly but consistently add powdered sugar until frosting begins to form. Add liquid of choice until frosting reaches desired consistency. Food color that shit if you’re into it and enjoy.

I used a Wilton 2B to do the rose swirl on the ones shown above.

And that’s all, folks. If you stuck around this long— thank you, stay cunty, and remember:

Kisses!

Fat Emery